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The Things I Do
May. 28th, 2004 01:51 pmI've been in one of my more melancholic, self-reflective moods lately, thinking about what it is I want to do, what's important to me in life, just how I should turn the rudder to get somewhere worthwhile. About whether I like myself as a person, and those kinds of things.
As part of that, I've also pondered about my hobbies, and about things I like, and that's really what this ramble is about. My primary real-life passion is photography. I'm decent at it, but not stellar. Even so, it shapes how I see the world, and the things I do. It gives me comfort, it makes me feel good, and it just feels right. If someone makes the mistake of starting a conversation about the topic, there's no stopping me. I'm happy about this.
Science (fiction): My literary tastes haven't evolved that much; I grew up reading Lem, Asimov, Clarke, and any number of assorted science fiction authors that were good enough to be translated into Finnish, and good enough to pass the muster of librarians. A small language makes literature easy--you pretty much know that if a book gets translated, it's worth reading. I like science, and miss working in the field. I feel very strongly about the need for space exploration and about basic research, particularly in physics. I want to understand this world with my rational mind, not just spiritually, emotionally, and based on words of others and faith. At the same time, I want to look into the future with an idealistic, if not outright romantic view. I want to believe that mankind can find ways to excel together, reach for the stars, advance technology, arts, society and culture instead of degenerating into primitive tribal and religious wars.
Fantasy and tabletop RPGs are also part of who I am, and intertwined with the above. I just got a pile of books for the extended weekend, and only after coming home realized that all of them were written by women, and all but one had the word "angel" somewhere in the title. Perhaps there is still something of a romantic in me. I'm still not sure what it is about this genre of escapism that so appeals to me. Elves, always--be they the AD&D kind, the Sidhe, the Germanic lore ones, or even more exotic variants. They serve as a ideal of sorts, of something to reach for. But there's another angle to it, something more emotional, something warmer, something that makes me prefer books by female authors. Perhaps it is as simple as the idea that there is good and evil, ugly and beautiful, and they're easy to see. Perhaps it is the lack of mundane. Perhaps it is the notion of true, epic love and melodramatic adventure. Of being able to change the world, of seeing your actions matter. Of a society where there are leaders that inspire, that garner love and loyalty for good, and not for the kind of insanities we see this in the real world. That is, I think, why I so relish the opportunity to spend a few hours now and then slipping into this world, pretending to live in it, without having to worry about rent, insurance, the next meetings and upcoming final projects. The opportunity of creating alter egos, ones that have skills I wish I had, fears I wish I could conquer. The opportunity of doing things I dream I could do, but cannot. The opportunity to deal with my issues, and experiment. The dice, the monsters, the rules are just a necessary evil. I'm in it to engage my imagination, to enjoy entertainment more personal and more engaging than almost anything else. And to have an excuse to meet friends and munch down some thai-hot Jasmine curry.
Aikido is the latest hobby, one that I have not been into for all my life, unlike the previous ones. I have been aware of its existence for quite a while now; some of my friends were into it and I had seen demonstrations of its strange dance. It wasn't until I found the USF club that it became convenient for me and I overcame my shyness and fear of failure to try it. I've never been an agressive person and I've never been a particularly physical person--I enjoyed biking, walking through the forests of home, skiing to a nearby island, but never really got into actual sports.
Aikido is a peaceful martial art. In the version I am learning, all techniques are predicated on being attacked; none of it works if I'm the aggressor. There is no macho attitude, no gritting of teeth, no learning to take pain or punches. Instead, the point is flowing, relaxing, dancing, pinning people into positions where they cannot do harm, but are not harmed either. Of course there are more violent aspects to it, depending on school and level, but that is fundamentally the idea--foil an attack against you, and convince the attacker to stop. There is no competing against other people, no matches with losers and winners. To advance you demonstrate that you have learned some techniques, and that is it. What I did not expect to find was the amount of commonality among its practitioners. Aikido is a martial art for the thinking person. Educated and intelligent people who do not want to show off embrace it. I hate to sound elitist, but the quality of people who I meet through the sport just keeps amazing me. People who not only have a brain, but prefer to use it to think for their own. Finally, it is a great workout. I spend one and a half to two hours getting up, taking a few steps and falling down (or making someone else fall down). By the end of it, I've had aerobic exercise that puts any other to shame, and hardly even noticed it. The techniques and concentration engages the brain: I don't get bored, and the worries and anxieties of my life are forgotten for the duration. And finally, once you pass your first test, you get to wear a hakama, which I think looks mondo cool.
As part of that, I've also pondered about my hobbies, and about things I like, and that's really what this ramble is about. My primary real-life passion is photography. I'm decent at it, but not stellar. Even so, it shapes how I see the world, and the things I do. It gives me comfort, it makes me feel good, and it just feels right. If someone makes the mistake of starting a conversation about the topic, there's no stopping me. I'm happy about this.
Science (fiction): My literary tastes haven't evolved that much; I grew up reading Lem, Asimov, Clarke, and any number of assorted science fiction authors that were good enough to be translated into Finnish, and good enough to pass the muster of librarians. A small language makes literature easy--you pretty much know that if a book gets translated, it's worth reading. I like science, and miss working in the field. I feel very strongly about the need for space exploration and about basic research, particularly in physics. I want to understand this world with my rational mind, not just spiritually, emotionally, and based on words of others and faith. At the same time, I want to look into the future with an idealistic, if not outright romantic view. I want to believe that mankind can find ways to excel together, reach for the stars, advance technology, arts, society and culture instead of degenerating into primitive tribal and religious wars.
Fantasy and tabletop RPGs are also part of who I am, and intertwined with the above. I just got a pile of books for the extended weekend, and only after coming home realized that all of them were written by women, and all but one had the word "angel" somewhere in the title. Perhaps there is still something of a romantic in me. I'm still not sure what it is about this genre of escapism that so appeals to me. Elves, always--be they the AD&D kind, the Sidhe, the Germanic lore ones, or even more exotic variants. They serve as a ideal of sorts, of something to reach for. But there's another angle to it, something more emotional, something warmer, something that makes me prefer books by female authors. Perhaps it is as simple as the idea that there is good and evil, ugly and beautiful, and they're easy to see. Perhaps it is the lack of mundane. Perhaps it is the notion of true, epic love and melodramatic adventure. Of being able to change the world, of seeing your actions matter. Of a society where there are leaders that inspire, that garner love and loyalty for good, and not for the kind of insanities we see this in the real world. That is, I think, why I so relish the opportunity to spend a few hours now and then slipping into this world, pretending to live in it, without having to worry about rent, insurance, the next meetings and upcoming final projects. The opportunity of creating alter egos, ones that have skills I wish I had, fears I wish I could conquer. The opportunity of doing things I dream I could do, but cannot. The opportunity to deal with my issues, and experiment. The dice, the monsters, the rules are just a necessary evil. I'm in it to engage my imagination, to enjoy entertainment more personal and more engaging than almost anything else. And to have an excuse to meet friends and munch down some thai-hot Jasmine curry.
Aikido is the latest hobby, one that I have not been into for all my life, unlike the previous ones. I have been aware of its existence for quite a while now; some of my friends were into it and I had seen demonstrations of its strange dance. It wasn't until I found the USF club that it became convenient for me and I overcame my shyness and fear of failure to try it. I've never been an agressive person and I've never been a particularly physical person--I enjoyed biking, walking through the forests of home, skiing to a nearby island, but never really got into actual sports.
Aikido is a peaceful martial art. In the version I am learning, all techniques are predicated on being attacked; none of it works if I'm the aggressor. There is no macho attitude, no gritting of teeth, no learning to take pain or punches. Instead, the point is flowing, relaxing, dancing, pinning people into positions where they cannot do harm, but are not harmed either. Of course there are more violent aspects to it, depending on school and level, but that is fundamentally the idea--foil an attack against you, and convince the attacker to stop. There is no competing against other people, no matches with losers and winners. To advance you demonstrate that you have learned some techniques, and that is it. What I did not expect to find was the amount of commonality among its practitioners. Aikido is a martial art for the thinking person. Educated and intelligent people who do not want to show off embrace it. I hate to sound elitist, but the quality of people who I meet through the sport just keeps amazing me. People who not only have a brain, but prefer to use it to think for their own. Finally, it is a great workout. I spend one and a half to two hours getting up, taking a few steps and falling down (or making someone else fall down). By the end of it, I've had aerobic exercise that puts any other to shame, and hardly even noticed it. The techniques and concentration engages the brain: I don't get bored, and the worries and anxieties of my life are forgotten for the duration. And finally, once you pass your first test, you get to wear a hakama, which I think looks mondo cool.
